Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
