Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
