You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
