Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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