I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I party with great urgency now.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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