.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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