I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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