After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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