I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
