did you get engaged???
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
