Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My vagina just clenched in fear
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