i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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