Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
