in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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