after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
