My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
It's Friday. Sex?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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