Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
