I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize