TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
