Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
