I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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