Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
