Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
