I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
