so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
