Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
