Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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