I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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