Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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