so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
