The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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