8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I think i got beer on your cat.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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