I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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