We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
