There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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