i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
