Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
