i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
