I can tuck mytits in my pants
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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