so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
