My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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