I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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