whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
