wrigley field is MILF paradise
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
