it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
