i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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