Your dad touched me again.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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