I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
