as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
