but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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