I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
