You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
