Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
