This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
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You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
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I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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