I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
