her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Terrible idea I love it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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