Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
