Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
