no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
