This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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