Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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