Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
