We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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