Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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