So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
