Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
