I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
