Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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